It´s not you, it´s M.E.

Side note...

3 years ago, I was very ill with what is known as Chronic Fatigue Syndrome - or more commonly M.E. It's a condition that causes severe tiredness that doesn't improve with rest, caused in my case by repeated throat infections over a period of 6 months. It's not like any tiredness you´ve ever felt before - I used to describe it as having an iron sheet laid on top of you, no matter how much you wanted to, you just could not get up. It's actually what stopped me going to Brazil in the first place, on a University exchange to João Pessoa. It pretty much broke my heart - I had to leave University and spend a very miserable 6 months at home.

Luckily, I'm not one to let bad times get the better of me. My family and friends were wonderfully supportive and I gradually fought back. I managed to go on an exchange to Portugal the following year and graduate the same year as my friends. And now I´m living the dream of being in the North East of Brazil. Better late than never, eh?

Nowadays I'm almost capable of leading a completely normal life. I can do a full days work, go to the gym, go clubbing and travel - just not all at the same time. I still have to be selective about what I do, and what I don't; M.E doesn´t control me anymore, but I still have to control M.E. So you may notice I'm always the first person to sneak off to bed at a house party. Or that I turn down invitations citing fatigue. I promise you, it's not because I´m dull or lazy or not interested. I´d love nothing more than to do everything, but I simply can't. I can´t risk falling ill again.

Working with children here is so much fun, but also pretty draining, even for those in tip top health condition! So I need to take it easy on the weekends if I'm to last until December.

I found a fantastic analogy of what it's like to live with an illness. It´s called The Spoon Theory, by Christine Miserando and you can read it here:

http://www.butyoudontlooksick.com/articles/written-by-christine/the-spoon-theory-written-by-christine-miserandino/

This weekend I was out of spoons, but now I´ve got plenty for next week :)